The Curious Curmudgeon …….on dating

Posted on June 8, 2019 by Jorge G

Before we get started kids this is meant as advice in a (hopefully) humorous way, do not get your panties, thongs, underwear, or boxers in a jam.

I will impart years of dating and relationship advice as only one with  experience and plenty of mistakes can do.

Yes, mistakes men, that is one of the things you must learn to do in a relationship, admit when you are wrong and move on before she starts checking the knife drawer or takes a sudden interest in watching Investigation I.D. for suggestions on how to “off” you without anything pointing the finger at her so she and the pool boy , Javier can go on that cruise your life insurance will be paying for.

Ladies, men are simple creatures, they want a warm home to come to after work, a warm meal and a warm place to park their “junk” in. Sexist? probably, but true, why is there so much infidelity? That girl from work might offer him blowjobs which you only do as a special “treat” on his birthday or anniversary , she might offer anal sex and kinky boots which you might have forgotten to do or don’t care to do anymore.

Men, ladies like to be romanced, take or send flowers to her  for no apparent reason, tell her she looks and smells great. If she likes chocolate, get her some and do not worry about it going to her hips. She cannot cook? there’s restaurants, take out or take a cooking class together, believe me she will appreciate that and think it is romantic.

Ladies if he likes beer (and who doesn’t) suggest a light beer so the chances of a beer gut are minimized.

Have you ever known a couple that divorced and you saw them months later and one or both of them dropped weight and were looking better than before?  They are back on the “market” that is why, makes you wonder why they did not do that while together, sedentary? taken for granted?

Money, has a big effect on a relationship, lack of it can cause someone to look for a better situation, too much of it can cause lots of problems. The proliferation of websites like SugarDaddy.com says a lot about how money can be a catalyst for those May-December romances. The new moniker for those sites is “age-gap dating”. Both ways mind you, in Palm Beach society which I happened to navigate thru in my younger years there were a lot of dowagers with their “ward” or “nephew” escorting them to events.

Dating attire has gotten weird. I recently saw a couple in a restaurant, obviously on a first date. The woman had on a nice dress and killer heels, nails manicured, hair done up. The gent was wearing jeans, sneakers and his shirt was not tucked in, they looked like they were in their early thirties. I live in Florida so I know casual but men in flip flops and cargo shorts on a date is not unusual to see. And the baseball cap on at a restaurant or movie theater and even at a play…….ughh! Dress up guys, women love a sharp dressed man.

Dating someone with kids is a minefield, the ex can be an asshole or a bitch, the kids can resent you so tread carefully there.

Pets, talk about a minefield! Obviously people care about their pets a lot, some treat them like they are human. When I was single if the lady dressed her cat or dog in outfits and Buffy or Fluffy had to go with us on a trip because they could not trust anyone to take care of them I was out of there faster than you could imagine.

One time I suggested to someone I had been dating for about a month to put her dog in a kennel so we could go on a romantic getaway for the weekend and she looked at me like I was Satan. Needless to say that was the end of that courtship.

I was in a live-in relationship with a lady who had 2 cats, I started to notice she would speak to her cats, no,not “Hi Fluffy how are you?” but she would mimic what her cats were “saying” like the noises they made so it was like a conversation going on.Shortly after that I exited as fast as I could.

Another lady I started to date looked promising but when we did the deed for the first time and went to sleep afterwards her dog got in the middle of us in bed. She said “Oh Buster sleeps in this bed every-night, you’ll get used to it”. No I didn’t and out I went…………next !

In-laws: real simple, they will either hate you or love you, be yourself and if they do not like you stop trying to win them over, the only person you have to win over is your mate. And if you think your man is a Mama’s boy, you are not going to change him, just think of Norman Bates, no one ever changed him. And the Mother will never, ever think you will love him as much as she does.

I have not mentioned same sex relationships because I have no experience in that nor will I. Just respect the other persons space and: No means no.

Published at Humans.media/Vocal

In memory of HST

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The Curious Curmudgeon on voting

Posted on May 28, 2019 by Jorge G

It amazes me that people have not taken to the streets to protest the blatant voter suppression that the GOP is trying everywhere they think they can get away with. Thank goodness that mid level courts are blocking some of them although if some cases get to the Supreme Court it is stacked with Conservatives that might side with the current attempts.

The State of Florida has gutted Amendment 4 that was approved by over 60% of voters giving felons the right to vote. Now this did not include those convicted of murder or sexual assault. So what they did at the GOP majority legislature is to add a “provision” that fines had to be paid by those convicted in order to have their voters rights reinstated, in essence a “poll tax” that the Jim Crow era instituted to keep African Americans from voting back in the day. Needless to say most of those felons are of a minority group so they would normally vote Democratic.

Abortions in Georgia, Alabama or Talibama as it should be called now, Mississippi and Texas are passing laws that will punish women having abortions and those doing them even if they go to another state to do it. Sounds like Sharia law to me. A woman has the right to do whatever she wants with her body, the Evangelicals are trying to make everyone step to their beat. Jesus would be shamed by their jamming of their beliefs on everyone.

Dear Democrats: do not in-fight with each other, do not play into the orange one’s game, make the mission clear: nominate whoever has the best chance of ending this embarrassing and corrupt administration. And Bernie voters, please do not sit out if he is not nominated, he would make a great choice for a post in the Cabinet, Secretary of Education comes to mind or Health and Human Services ,  Veterans Administration or Housing and Urban Development or my favorite for him, SEC, he would make the bankers soil their pants.

Vote, vote, vote and as Bernie said: “we need the biggest turnout in the history of our country if we are to save it.”

in memory of HST.  take the poll below>

 

 

 

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The Curious Curmudgeon

Posted on May 23, 2019 by Jorge G

Will airlines flying to and fro the abortion states charge for two passengers if the woman is pregnant?

Will Trump reach 20,000 lies by 2020?

Since there are shows about practically everything, how long before we have Beverly Hills Proctologist?

Who has the biggest blind eye? The Christian right about Trump or the Catholic Church about pedophile priests?

I wish South Florida weather persons would stop hyperventilating when there is a fart of a storm off the coast of Africa.

When did you have to mortgage your home in order to buy concert tickets? I looked into nose-bleed seats for the Rolling Stones and they were $248.00  each + service charges, in a stadium to boot.

Could auto dealers explain “acquisition fee” and “dealer prep” fee?

Psychiatrists and Psychologists having to carry liability insurance is not very comforting, if they screw you up how do you know? Will they tell you? Is there a statute of limitations on therapy? Two years or three meltdowns?

Ever notice mass shooters in the America are white, ugly and couldn’t get laid in a bordello with a fistful of Benjamin’s?

Hoping Marijuana becomes legal in all the states, can you imagine the increased sales of Moon-pies and Doritos’s? It’s not a gateway drug, no one has ever overdosed on it as Reefer Madness would have you believe.

I think they should combine the shows: My 600lb life, 16 and pregnant, Hoarders and the Kardashians and call it Dysfunction Junction.

If doctors are allowed to charge you for missing an appointment shouldn’t you be able to charge them when they bump yours?

Which rocker will be the first to croak onstage? Mick, Paul, Steven, Rod? They are all pushing past seventy. We know Keith Richards and cockroaches are the only things that are able to survive a nuclear holocaust, so he is safe.

Random thoughts of a restless mind, in memory of HST

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Curmodgeonisms

Posted on August 5, 2018 by Jorge G

Today’s golfers are hitting drives over 300 yards on a regular basis, does the PGA test for performance enhancing drugs?

The current President said while campaigning that he would not take a vacation, or play golf, he lied, lied and lied. Can we agree that he is a habitual liar?

He also said he did not know St0rmy or Karen, he lied about that too.

He lied about paying them off too.

The lies about  Russian meeting are unraveling as fast as the Tweets against the meeting.

When will a reporter be attacked by a Trump supporter? I think it is just a matter of time. The obvious low I.Q. of Trump supporters is so plain to see that it is frightening. Trailer trash, yahoos, hillbillies, inbreds, toothless, gun-nuts, idiot-savants,he’s got em all.

Is the U.S. intelligence community planning to silence their biggest critic? A car accident? Plane crash? A radioactive pellet? Poison?

Which Trump kid will be indicted? Eric? Don Jr.? Ivanka?

The hypocrisy from the Christian right about Trump’s peccadillos  is as bad as the silence from the Catholic church about pedophile priests.

The Trump administrations efforts with the help of the GOP hierarchy  to undo most of the Obama’s administrations legacy is so obvious that historians will have an easy path to explain everything to future generations.

Television weatherpersons should be tied naked to a telephone pole when they get the forecast wrong which is often. Partly cloudy? Party sunny? Possible change of rain? WTF just say you don’t know and just stick your head out the door. And what’s with the Bimbo weathergirls in the Hispanic stations? Is that the only way to get viewers? These gals look like they stepped right out of a nightclub, so do any of them have a meteorologist degree? Maybe the tying them naked to a telephone is not a bad idea after all.

Guess instead of draining the swamp the swamp is populated by more greed-mongers and crooks.

I am amazed by the amount of people who ignore the current President’s lies, obfuscations, outright lack of veracity and the destroying of the not only prestige of the office but the way the world looks at the U.S.A.

Will pro football still be as popular twenty years from now after all the CTE studies come in?

Who in the hell wants to drive into the heart of Little Havana to watch the train wreck that is the Miami Marlins baseball team?

Will Bashar al Assad ever be tried for war crimes in Syria? Chemical weapon attacks? Bombing hospitals over 450 times? Destroying Aleppo? pick any.

Rick Scott running for Senator of Florida is a joke, he gutted Obamacare, the Everglades cleanup and helped corporations get better deals on the backs of the middle class.

ruminating in remembrance of HST

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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More curmudgeon

Posted on July 27, 2018 by Jorge G

Television weatherpersons in South Florida need to stop hyperventilating when there is a dust storm coming off the west coast of Africa. You can see the weather girls nipples get hard and the men get boners when this happens. The histrionics start after that and the scare factor goes into full effect. If the storm gathers and its near Puerto Rico or the Virgin islands then start with the nervous Nellie hand wringing and hair pulling. Those of us who experienced Andrew don’t get excited about a fart of the coast of Africa until it becomes something real.

Been said many times before but politicians should have the same Healthcare that working class Americans have access to, that would change their tune in a heartbeat.

Have tickets to concerts just gotten out of hand? To pay $200 dollars to see a band in a cavernous stadium which you wind up watching the Jumbo-tron to see them up close anyway is ridiculous.

If I call a major corporation’s customer service and have to talk to “Rick” in Bangladesh I am going to have a fucking cow.

Could auto dealers please explain two things: “acquisition fee” and  “dealer prep fee” ? Shouldn’t they just call it bend over fee?

At what point  in their life did a person aspire to become a proctologist? Was it an epiphany? Did they have an anal fetish? Want to work in tight places? I want to know, I have to know.

Do shrinks have liability insurance? How do you know if they fucked you up? Is there a statute of limitations on therapy? If they do not “fix” you is there a money back guarantee?

Ever notice mass shooters are ugly as fuck, couldn’t get laid in a women’s prison or a whorehouse with a fistful of Benjamin’s? That little prick that shot up Stoneman Douglas high school looks like a troll and a carpet had a better chance of getting laid than he did.

I know it is barbaric but some Middle East countries punish thieves by cutting off their hands, same should apply to rapists. Bet there will be second thoughts.

Random thoughts of a twisted mind, in memory of HST.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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More curmudgeon

Posted on July 27, 2018 by Jorge G

Regardless of party affiliation, doesn’t the mental state of the current President worry anyone? Lies, backtracking, more lies, lies about the lies, subterfuge,more lies its like an avalanche of misinformation, your head spins so much you do not know what to believe, guess its working after all.

Will political parties ever be civil again considering the division and bad blood being created in Washington?

Should there be a new party? Not the Green party, not the Libertarians they couldn’t muster a million votes if they were giving away hand- jobs. How about the Cocktail Party? Everyone has their favorite drink to excess and whoever is left standing (without help of any-kind ) gets elected.

Term limits should be enacted across the board,if you cannot get your agenda or enrich yourself and your cronies in eight years time, boo-hoo.

Its really funny Trump calling Cohen a liar. Who do you believe the habitual liar or a lawyer? Tough choice I know.

How long will the GOP blame Obama and Hillary for their troubles? Over/Under says four more years.

Will the Millennials get out of their parents basement and vote in 2020?

Are parents of kids under ten years old even thinking about the  condition of the environment they will be leaving for their kids?

If certain countries in the Middle East hate the U.S. so much, shouldn’t we just get the hell out of there and let them blow themselves back to the Stone Age?

Hoping Marijuana gets legal status in all the states, just think of the increased sales of Doritos and Moon-pies. Besides no one has ever overdosed on pot and it is not a gateway drug as Reefer Madness would have you believe.

Will the current generation of teen age girls grow up self entitled, selfish and self centered after watching the Kardashians? Wait, this just in, they already are. Good role models those gold digging athlete humping hustlers.

Random thoughts from a twisted mind, in memory of HST.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dear Democrats

Posted on July 19, 2018 by Jorge G

Please do not screw up this opportunity coming in November 2018,  please put all differences aside and back candidates that will appeal to the masses, example: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, she did not have your backing and she upset a long timer.

Do not pull a Hillary like you did last election and undermine anyone that might have the pulse of the people, I know, I know Hillary won the popular vote, but I suspect Bernie would have done better.

Just for fun did anyone at the DNC consider running Bernie and Hillary together? Isn’t the purpose of the DNC to win regardless of the politics? I know, foolish right?

Please plan now and stop being so nice, get down in the dirt and play as nasty and hard as the GOP, stop being so NICE, there are no style points for that.

And listen to the kids, they were right on with Bernie.

HST.

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Just sayin, from a curmudgeon

Posted on July 13, 2018 by Jorge G

Public notice: recent studies have shown an increase in fact checkers  enrolling in the Betty Ford clinic due to mental breakdowns, heavy drug use and alcoholism. The study showed the increase started on January,20th 2016 for some strange reason.

If doctors charge you for missing an appointment shouldn’t you be able to charge them when they cannot see you because they had an “emergency”?

Why do banks make you wait three days to receive money from an out of town check but the same bank takes the money out of your account immediately when you send it to an out of town bank?

Has customer service become an oxymoron? You call the cable company because your internet is down and before you have to run thru the gauntlet of menu options, press one for English, two for Spanish, three if you are hard of hearing, four if you are stupid, five if you are mentally challenged, six if you need a diaper change, seven if you are gender-neutral, eight if you are gluten intolerant, nine if you need a safe space, all to hear the first thing on the recording: “If you are having trouble, go to our website and check your options” You CANNOT go to their website because the fucking internet is down, which is why you are calling them in the first place!

And speaking of customer service when you call them why do they all have an accent like they are in Zafranistan or Chechnya and they say their name is “Mike” or “Sandy” and their accent is thicker than a pot of curry.

So when is the fine line drawn in the sand about weed? Some states will legalize it, some wont so will there be border police between those states? It’s like bringing Coors back to the east back in the 70’s, trunk loads of weed, but what do you do about the smell?

Is baseball going to be obsolete in the next ten years? It is such a slowwwwwwwwww game, the Millenials who have the attention span of a gnat are leaving the game in droves, no amount of in between innings “games” will bring them back. Kiss-cam, mascot races, lucky seat winner, Bark at the Park night, Transvestite night or five cent beer night will keep them coming to the park. Well, maybe the five cent beer night.

Who will be the first old rocker to croak onstage? Mick Jagger? Paul Mc Cartney? Steven Tyler? Rod Stewart? All over seventy and living on borrowed time. We know Keith Richards will survive a nuclear holocaust due to all the drugs he’s ingested.  Hell when hospitals  run out heroin they just hook him up to an I.V. and take what they need to replenish supplies.

Just sayin’

 

 

 

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Ruminations from a curmudgeon

Posted on July 8, 2018 by Jorge G

Do we need a Walgreens and a CVS pharmacy not only across from each other but every five city blocks?

Should auto makers just stop putting turn signals on cars?

There is a test for a drivers license, pilot’s license, truck driver CDL, lawyers have to pass the Bar and Doctor’s have to intern, an electrician has to pass a test, shouldn’t there be a Marriage test before you get THAT license?

Today’s children are bratty, self entitled, selfish and obnoxious, that’s what you get when you cant spank, discipline or punish them. And their parents should be neutered so they don’t have any more of these Children of the Corn.

Just waiting for a law to be passed that flirting will be a misdemeanor. Don’t send cards and letters, I agree the Harvey Weinstein’s of this world need to be castrated at best,but you have to ask a lawyer these days if it okay to tell a woman she has a nice shape. In a few years women are going to have an inferiority complex because men will not be able to give them compliments thanks to the pulchritude police.

Do the Kardashian’s do anything worthwhile?  If they vanished tomorrow would the world be a better place? Are they donating anything to society besides fodder for the tabloids?

Why are people spending hundreds of millions of dollars to become Senators ? Is the graft/payoffs/benefits that good? Scott and Nelson are going to spend 100 million in their race for Florida. For gawds sake the salary for a Senator from Florida pays $29,697 plus $152 per diem while in session, does that make any sense?

The next gun nut that says they are trying to take away the second amendment away, I will shoot them.

Will the Democrats ever have a candidate with balls? Besides Hillary that is.

Why didn’t the fellow who followed the “Most interesting man in the world” in the Dos XX commercials work out? Not interesting enough?

Will the Christian Faith publishing company publish my porn story?

Why don’t the online dating service commercials show real people? Not Barbie and Ken, show toothless Billy Bob or Ralph the overweight used car salesman? Or Katie the thrice divorced single Mom with four kids from four different fathers?

A kindness to others costs nothing, don’t be hurt if not returned, just  move on and focus your kindness on the next person. And yes, treat others as they treat you.

Does anyone miss the TV show The Newsroom with Jeff Daniels? In this day and age with the megalomaniac in the White House it would be interesting to see their take on it.

I think now that Uber and Lyft exist drivers licenses should be taken away from anyone over 85 years old, give their cars to a white trash family and give the old geezers a year’s worth of free rides and keep those blind fuckers off the road.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How to take over America, a primer

Posted on December 20, 2017 by Jorge G

While five years ago this would be thought of as science fiction and even a publisher or studio mogul would laugh you out of their office, unfortunately like a bad reality show this has become, well……………. a bad reality show.

First elect someone who touches a nerve with the angry electorate who have been ignored and feel the “minorities” ( fill in the ethnic group of your choice here) are being treated better than they are.

Promise them America will be strong again and talk tough, bluster, threaten allies and promise “America First”

Promise a group of workers that their industry will be revitalized even though that industry is behind the times and becoming obsolete.

Break trade agreements that encourage globalization of domestic products and will hurt said industries.

Encourage racism by not denouncing hate groups and actually empowering them by doing so.

Hire a cabinet full of self serving Billionaires that in turn gut the departments they are given to run.

Ignore the world’s climate change agreement.

Deflate the working class by cutting Medicare, social services, food stamps,  social security and take away their healthcare.

Vote down a bill to help veterans.

Ignores his party’s voter suppression mandate.

Take away bank regulations.

Bow down to communications companies by voiding Net Neutrality.

Shrink National Parks size.

And last but not least have the nerve to pass a tax bill that only helps corporations and the 1% under the guise of helping ALL Americans.

Endorse an accused child molester for Senator.

Flat out lie like a rug, the only jobs he has created are for fact checkers.

We are blatantly being robbed at pen-point and short of taking to the streets the only choice is to vote as many out in 2018 and 2020.

Now here is the rest of the science fiction; this is all orchestrated by a businessman who has a history of bankruptcies and stiffing suppliers,  multiple wives whom he had affairs with before leaving the previous wife, been sued for housing discrimination, is thought of as a con artist in the circles of the rich and had been accused multiple times of sexual harassment and or assault while being caught on tape bragging about it. Oh, and making fun of the handicapped.

In memory of HST, my hero

 

 

 

 

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