Charlatan in Chief

I will not make the dumpster my president, he is abhorrent, duplicitous, self serving, selfish, inconsiderate, lying, two-faced and incredibly stupid. He believes he is smarter than others, he is not, he believes he is wiser, he is not, he believes he is craftier, he is not.

What he is, is a little man who needed help from others to get where he is without giving credit to anyone but himself. And he has to belittle others to make himself feel better. Little man’s syndrome, look it up, its psychology 101.

My things are better, bigger, shinier than anyone elsers, again little man syndrome. You compliment him (Putin) he is your friend, you belittle him (Meryl) he is tweeting his displeasure at six a.m. like a little high school girl.

I will ride out the next four years while he embarrasses the USA in front of the world.

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Things I don’t want to see in 2017

Agreeing that 2016 was not one of the better years for mankind let’s see what we maybe can do without and hopefully more of in 2017.

Right out of the gate let’s just get it over with and realize we have to put up with the Gropenfuhrer for another four years and take our medicine and shut up about him. Cant wish him ill because his vice president is like a strict school principal right out of the 50’s, the 1850’s. So pray for a quick four years or a real “Mars attacks” scenario.

We still saw too much of the Kardashian’s whether it was the husbands acting up or the latest undressing of one of the girls, it is just mindboggling how these talentless paparazzi teasers get more face time than a president or should I say ass time in Kim’s case.

Athletes who act like their talents are going to change the world, its a friggin game, the fate of the world is not going to turn whether your team wins or loses or whether you scored big. Five years from now who is going to remember you? Same with singers, who won Album of the year in 1995? Thought so, the only singer who made a difference was John Lennon and he was shot for it go figure.

Tired of the one percenters who run for office saying they know how the middle class and the poor feel, they wouldn’t have a clue if they were thrown naked into the inner city without a credit card, a cell phone. a publicist or a handler.

People who air their laundry on social media, isn’t it bad enough that your mate slept with fill in the blank: brother, sister, cousin, dog, stepfather, roommate, therapist, ex, pet groomer, hair stylist, banker, wanker or Mom? Isn’t that bad enough? You have to post it for your social media world to see? For pity? To embarrass your afflictor? Go on, move along.

Middle East: you people have been fighting since the dinosaurs were around, either end it or get along, no one is giving an inch so get along because the only other option is to go nuclear and no one wins that scenario.

ISIS, ISIL, DASH, DAESH or whatever you are called, take over a country that people want you to rule, throw everyone else out, invite your followers and have fun living in 13 B.C. leave the rest of the world alone we do not want your antiquated rules or our women covered up like mummies.

We need age limits for rock bands on tour, no amount of drugs is going to keep a seventy-five year old rocker going except Keith Richards. Mick Jagger is 73, Paul Mc Cartney is 74 are we waiting for them to keel over on stage? Retire and keep banging women younger than your grandchildren. Who is going to sponsor their concerts? Depends? Metamucil? Dentu-Crème? AARP?

Political parties: please bring something fresh to the masses, people were tired of the same pabulum and retreaded politicians, hence the surprising win of the one person who did everything wrong and still won the electoral college.

Social media could use a filter or a moral code if such one exists, fake news should be disseminated and only real factual stories should be allowed to post. Are you listening Mark?

Sports teams, you have to lower your prices when it costs a family of four more than $4oo for four tickets to a football game plus outrageously priced food and drinks to attend a game it is bordering on robbery. $13 dollars for a beer? $8 dollars for a hot dog?, come on !

Greed: there is enough of everything in this world for all, how many homes, cars, planes do you need? Most everyday Joe’s and Jane’s just want to live their life in peace and enjoy the spoils of their hard work, get home, have a cocktail and a bang a couple of times a week with the better half.

Reality shows: Please try to do something positive with your shows, self centered, self absorbed, whinny, selfish, immature people looking for enablers show nothing positive, I know every one goes to a car race hoping for a car crash but how many can you film and show?  Hoarders? baby mama’s, Pregnant at 16? Intervention? Live PD? Does it make people feel better that they are seeing someone in worse straits than they are in?

Don’t get me started on participation trophies, you win, great, you lose, learn from it get some spine out of it, work harder next time. I would be insulted to get one of those trophies. Don’t make pussies out of your children, they lose, pat them on the back and say better luck next time, practice, practice, practice, practice  more, work harder, be the best at your craft/talent.

Good riddance to 2016, hoping 2017 is a bit easier on the senses.














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America at the shrink’s

We snuck a microphone into America’s psychiatrist’s office and have decided to play excerpts from America’s last therapy session from the week of November 9th of this year, be warned this is not for the faint of heart.

Doc: Hello America, how are you feeling today?

USA: Doc, I’m telling you the feelings of inadequacy that I had last week are nothing compared to what I am feeling now. I feel lost, abandoned and confused.

Doc: Do tell, did the election throw you off?

USA: Yes it did, everything that looked so right went so wrong.

Doc: Sometimes the outcome is not what we want or expect, you have to be ready for that.

USA: But Doc a party that doesn’t give a damn about everyday people, show contempt and disregard for the poor and disenfranchised, are blatant about their disdain for those that don’t agree with their strict old fashioned dogma have stayed in power in spite of looking out for their kind only, rich and white keep winning, it’s mind boggling.

Doc:  America sometimes things are not what they seem, maybe they have a pulse of the frustration from the middle class, what about the other party, are they any better?

USA: Here is the thing Doc, the other group gets behind someone extremely unlikable, an elitist, a one per-center who could not muster sincerity if she was dropped in a vat full of  it, a career politician who had the lust for power like a vampire has for blood.  And she had things that would have given anyone in her position sympathy, her husband was a Lothario of prolific proportions, she had been dragged thru the mud for investigations for decades, she was the first woman presidential candidate to make it all the way to her party’s nomination yet people actually despised her. I heard people say that they would vote for anyone, Hannibal Lechter, Hitler, Charles Manson, anyone but her.And to make matters worse, that party had a likable candidate who was loved by the people both young and old and the party in question went out of their way to undermine his candidacy because they thought the lady was a shoo-in.

Doc: I am going to adjust your medication that last part was out of a fiction book, no one would believe that a major party would do that in this day and age, did anyone go to jail or get fired?

USA: That’s the thing Doc, everybody stayed in power, no one got fired, demoted or raked over the coals.

Doc: I am definitely adjusting your meds, you are staring to sound paranoid.

USA: Doc, I’m telling you I am going crazy, the other party had a guy running that did everything wrong, stuck his foot in his mouth, insulted different groups, incited hate and bigotry, threatened anyone who disagreed with him, was vindictive, did not show what he paid in taxes, had dubious business dealings, did not pay suppliers, threatened those running against him and asked why we couldn’t use nuclear weapons.

Doc: Okay I am definitely adjusting your meds, you are delusional.

USA: Doc, I’m telling the truth and furthermore he was caught on tape boasting about grabbing women by the short hairs if you know what I mean and women came forward to confirm those acts of groping. And on top of it all he is a crybaby who whines whenever anyone says anything derogatory towards him. He’s like a little bitch.

Doc: Well that certainly would have doomed his chances of winning, if this was all real, you couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried, I am starting to worry about you….. wait a moment while I call my assistant. ….. Miss Huxtable please get those Baker Act forms ready, think we might be needing them. Okay America what’s next we are running out of time.

USA: Running out of time? Here is the latest,the guy who  said the election was rigged if he lost now there is evidence that Russia was helping him to win the election.

Doc: Okay, that’s it you’ve lost your mind I am changing your meds and Baker acting you until you get out of this fantasy world you are in.

USA: Doc , I’m telling you the truth, you gotta believe me.

Doc: Miss Huxtable please start the paperwork on Miss USA  and a straitjacket please.

USA: Doc, I would not lie to you, this is all real.

Doc: I think some therapy is required here, I think about four years or so should do it, it’s for your own good America, good things will come of this trust me. Believe me, great things will happen, believe me, believe me, believe me we are going to make you great again America bwahaahahahahahahah!














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Trump’s Cabinet from Hell

Let’s have a gander at some of the wonderful, salt of the earth, “everyday people” the Trumpster has appointed to his cabinet, they all appear to have the qualifications to be empathetic of hard working individuals.Fox guarding the hen-house comes to mind with these pricks, I mean picks.

State department: Rex Tillerson, CEO of Exxon/Mobil. Close ties to Russia’s Putin, Chairman of Trumps election campaign, oops, sorry I mean Russia’s leader. Oil drilling everywhere, restrictions and regulations will fall faster than g-strings at a titty bar.

Treasury: Steven Mnuchin,  Goldman Sachs alumni, no more need be said.

Defense: James “mad dog” Mattis, retired four star general,thought to be a safe pick until you see his comments about Iran, will make the Middle East nervous.

Attorney General : Jeff Sessions,Senator, Alabama, a curious pick since there is a documented history of racist and derogatory comments. Looks like the guy that would creep out of the woods with the Deliverance music playing in the background.

Homeland: John Kelly,retired general. tough on illegal immigration. Rumored to be playing Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” a lot lately.

Commerce: Wilbur Ross, investor and billionaire. Known as the king of bankruptcy for investing in such businesses. Surprised he hasn’t invested in Trump stocks.

Education: Betsy DeVos: known for not liking public school systems, advocates charter schools, a head scratcher pick.

Energy: Rick Perry, former Texas governor, while running for President said he would abolish this department, I.Q. of a lemming, makes George W look look a Rhodes Scholar,couldn’t win on Dancing with the Stars.

Health and Human Services: Tom Price. An orthopedic surgeon who is critical of Obamacare, shocking, I know.

HUD, Doctor Ben Carson, religious conservative with no political experience, square peg in a round hole, really square, only black cat who is not cool. Owns a two million dollar mansion in Palm Beach county, has nothing in common with America’s inner cities. Once said jail time converted people into gays.

UN ambassador: Governor Nikki Haley, seems like a logical and good choice, what the hell happened?

SBA; Linda McMahon, former wrestling tycoon, two failed Senate runs. “Let’s get ready to rumble”

Non cabinet positions:

Chief strategist: Steve Bannon, chairman of Breitbart news, catering to alt-right pointy headed racists.

CIA Director; Mike Pompeo, Kansas congressman, Tea bagger, witch hunter extraordinaire, headed Benghazi investigation which wasted taxpayer money and our time and produced ZERO indictments.

NSA advisor: Michael Flynn,retired general with an Islamophobic ax to grind.

Well kids it’s going to be a fun four years, the comedy writers will have no shortage of materials.

Everything that has been gained in the last twenty years like LGBT rights, environmental advances, human rights, climate change policies, protection of government lands, Wall Street protections, bank and credit abuses, voters rights, monopoly protection will be gone or deregulated over the next four years.













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The golf swing, simplified or just shoot me.

Even though you might not like golf, think it’s boring or agree with the late George Carlin ( bless him) that thought golf courses were a waste of land, here is what a golfer has to checklist before taking the first swing/shot so be understanding of their predicament/curse. There is probably one in your family. Condolences if they are close to you.

Get the grip right whichever of the four or five are recommended

Position of the ball, off front foot, middle, back?

End of club handle not too close to zipper/belt buckle

Head down

Keep your eye on the ball

Bend your knees

Don’t lean too far forward

Don’t lean backwards

Don’t rest on your heels

Don’t abbreviate your backswing

Don’t swing too fast

Don’t swing too slow

Don’t pick up your head

Don’t pickup your feet

Don’t swivel your hips ahead of your swing

Don’t rotate your shoulders ahead or behind your hips

Don’t pronate

Don’t supinate

Don’t move your hands ahead of your club head

Don’t have your hands behind the club

Don’t tee the ball too high

Don’t tee the ball too low

Gauge the wind for the right club, which way is it blowing?

Take a full swing.

I hope this helps you understand their obsession and golf and why liquor are so closely intertwined. If they mutter in their sleep about their swing, you will know why now.


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The enabling society

Some colleges are considering quiet rooms so the children can rest, meditate or play with their phones without being bothered or upset. Horseshit I say, you mamby-pamby snot nosed weaklings better get with the program because its a dog eat dog world out there, survival of the fittest and you are going to be roadkill if you don’t butch up.

Notice how society is changing, you owe back taxes? you don’t have to pay all of them back, hire a company that for a small fee that will renegotiate your  debt. Owe too much on credit cards? hire a company that will go to bat for you and get your OBLIGATION reduced. And these companies advertise shamelessly too, their spiel on the radio is pretty graphic: “Owe money? you don’t have to pay it back, let us represent you and help you lower your debt.” ” You don’t have to pay it back” is what they say……..that is what frosts my mini-wheats.

So its like having a good Grandparent, Junior you are in over your head, let me take care of that for you.It’s sliding over into technology, cars that drive themselves, I can see it now, a car accident? wasn’t me officer I was just riding along, the computer was driving, not my fault. Lane change accident? Wasn’t my fault the lane change warning program was defective. Rear end collision? not my fault.  the auto brake program wasn’t working properly.

I saw an ad for a bed that makes itself for Pete’s sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not kidding it’s called Smart Duvet and its a gawdamm app on your phone, you get out of bed, touch the app and the inflated bed cover folds over and your bed is made, how lazy is that? Mind you it uses a vacuum cleaner type of motor to inflate the duvet so its using electricity, talk about a carbon footprint.

So when is this coming? “:Honey I am horny, let’s make love” ………..”wait a minute darlin so I can start my make love app, it will dim the light, pour some wine  and start my penis pump.”

Call me a cranky curmudgeon but the axis is starting to lean to a blameless society.



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Democrats, wake the hell up.

Dear Dems, now that the hangover is over and this election was not a bad dream here is a reality check. Trump is the President and no amount of Facebook whinny postings about doing a recall or petition to the electoral college is going to change that.

First you put all your eggs in one basket and it wasn’t a basket of deplorables, it was a basket of arrogance. You had the same arrogance that Hillary had thinking this was in the bag. Shame on you.

You undermined the one person who had the followers who could beat Trump. Shame on you. Sure Bernie did not have high “Q” ratings and he reminded everyone of their crazy rambling uncle but he had the pulse of the people and he stayed on point talking about policy, solutions and issues. The entire DNC needs to overhauled and new blood and staff that listen to the people’s problems need to be put in place. If the leadership of the DNC was on a show say like…………… let me think here………………….like The Apprentice, they would have been fired for screwing up a sure thing.

Sure the majority of the pundits picked Trump to lose but they should have looked at revisionist history and remembered Dewey versus Truman. That she was as disliked as much as he was should have been a red flag.

If this was a ballgame it would have been a HUGE upset. Here is the hard part, we have four years of this man who was probably as surprised as anyone that he won and is probably wondering “What the hell have I gotten myself into?”. Every positive step we have taken forward is going to be lost with the gang of ultra conservatives, Neocons, closet racists, Neo Nazis, KKK followers, homophobes and women haters that will make up his cabinet and sycophants.

What analysts will be going over for years is trying to figure how 53% of women voted for Trump, did they really hate Hillary that much?

There are no retakes here Donald, this is the real deal and the whole world is watching.





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