Your Democratic Presidential candidates…………in jest

These are in alphabetical order so no favoritism is shown, although you can probably tell who has it and who will not:

Michael Bennet, senator from Colorado, bland, white bread wouldn’t hurt a fly, polling under 1%

Joe Biden, former vice-president, Uncle Joe, can be comforting like an old blanket or creepy like a step-uncle,might be the antidote to Beelzebub that is occupying the White House. Polling at about 22% which makes him the current front-runner.

Bill de Blasio , current Mayor of Nu Yawk, they don’t like him there either, polling under 1%.

Cory Booker , Nu Joisey Senator, wants to be Obama Lite, no sale, polling at 3%.

Steve Bullock, governor of Montana, sits in front of mirror and says ” I am good enough, I’m smart enough and people like me”. Would carry all 938 voters from his state. Polling 000.1 %

Pete Buttigieg, mayor of South Bend Indiana, well rounded, articulate, intelligent, a veteran, but the yahoos wont vote for a gay man. Polling 3%

Julian Castro, former U.S. secretary of HUD, and San Antonio mayor, will be liked by Hispanic voters but has little pizzazz. Would make a good vice-president.Polling 1%

John Delaney, state representative from Maryland, had not heard about him until now, looks like a life insurance salesman, polling under 1%

Tulsi Gabbard, representative of Hawaii, cute, deer in the headlights look, polling under 1%

Kirsten Gillibrand, Senator from Nu Yawk, tries to appear confident, has some good ideas, but looks like a former Majorette, polling 1%

Kamala Harris, senator from California, super confident, a bit too much, some yahoos might consider her “uppity”, good v.p. candidate. Polling around 17%

Jay Inslee, governor of Washington, has great ideas, done well in his state but not known elsewhere, polling lower than low. Looks like a banker.

Amy Klobuchar, senator from Minnesota, looks and acts like she was the chaperone at high school proms, acts tough which is a turnoff, polling at 2%

Wayne Messam, mayor of Miramar, Florida, I live in South Florida and I never heard of him until now, polling at: who?

Seth Moulton, representative from Massachusetts, polling at, see previous candidate.

Beto O’Rourke, former representative from Texas, wants to be JFK junior, scared the crap out of Ted Cruz, bit full of himself, polling at a whopping 3%

Tim Ryan, representative from Ohio, looks stiff like he is  surprised he got this far. Polling incalculable.

Bernie Sanders, senator from Vermont, kvetches, hand wrings, the sky is falling shtick is getting old, we get it Bernie ! darling of the Millennials, polling well at 14%

Tom Steyer, big money man, appears articulate and has a hard-on for Trump ( who doesn’t?) Dark horse, just joined the race, says he will throw 100 million into it so he is committed.

Elizabeth Warren, pluses: passionate about her beliefs, a thorn in Trump’s big rear end, has good ideas, is a female. minuses; shrill, hyper, castigates instead of informs. Polling at 15%

Bill Weld, former governor of Massachusetts, had not heard of him before this, admits he smokes pot, which is refreshing, has as much chance as someone letting a Kennedy be the designated driver after a party,polling not available.

Marianne Williamson, author, lecturer about love, incense, rainbows, unicorns and unity, she has some chutzpah running, give her that, polling not as good as her book sales.

Andrew Yang, entrepreneur from Nu Yawk, darling of You Tube and Twitter, looks smart, acts smart will take the Asian vote. Polling like Wang Chung tonight.

Mystery Candidate, it’s fifteen months away, anything can happen, stay alert.!






About Jorge G

business owner, writer of books Miami Beat & Miami Moon, column writer for The Lake Worth Herald
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