Fifty shades of ………meh

The buzz and hoopla over the release of the movie Fifty Shades of Grey reached epic proportions in the week of its opening. The Today Show had events the entire week, the public relations machine was running at full tilt.

I told the Missus that we would wait until the week after it opened so we would not be trampled by horny housewives dying to see the movie. After all they sold over 100 million copies of the book and it was translated into 52 languages. Which tells you there are no borders when it comes to frustrated women.

Now I did not read the book just some excerpts and my first thought was that the movie makers would have to tone down the movie or they would be flirting with an X rating therefore cutting the possible box office in half.

The trailers that we were teased with showed a semi handsome smoldering Grey played by Jamie Dornan and an intriguing bit of casting in Dakota Johnson. There did not appear to be a bit of chemistry in the trailers but I decided not to judge based on the shortness of the trailer.

Watching the movie I could not help but notice the closeups of Dornan were done in a way where his right eye looked bigger than his left. And by now I am sure people are having drink games where every time Dakota bites her lips, you have to take a shot of alcohol. Buy plenty of alcohol for this game.

Soft porn is what it turns out to be so I think middle America will watch the movie out of curiosity. I just knew they would not show the nitty gritty of a true BDSM relationship. Maybe they are saving it for  movie #2

As far as the chemistry, if you consider incessant lip biting and smoldering looks with a furrowed brow chemistry, then this movie is for you. And no spoiler alert but when the movie is over don’t be surprised to hear people go “HUH?”

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