Miami Marlins: The Three Stooges

Well. well, well………pitcher Mark Buehrle came out without mincing any words and flat out stated that Marlins management repeatedly lied to him on multiple occasions.

There is no shock there, the three stooges who run this franchise: Larry (Beinfest) Curly (Sampson) and owner Moe (Luria) have bamboozled everyone with their shell game.

First they obtained $360 MILLION in public money from Miami-Dade county and the city of Miami to build a state of the art stadium in the heart of Little Havana, promising to end their penurious payroll policy and to actually spend money to field a decent team.

Keep in mind that in 2011 Marlins management was called on the carpet by Major League baseball and the Players Union because they were raking in millions from the collective bargaining agreement and not spending it on players. It was strongly suggested that they spend a little back on salaries which they did “a little ” in 2011.

What happened in 2012 was that they made a huge splash for the grand opening of their ballpark by signing a high-profile manager (Ozzie Guillen) who turned out to be a poster child for a Dale Carnegie course if there ever one was needed, This guy insulted more people than Don Rickles on crack cocaine.

Besides throwing F-bombs more frequently than someone with Tourette’s Syndrome, Ozzie did the one worst possible thing: he complimented Fidel Castro. A cuban would rather you call his mother a whore than have you compliment Fidel.

Fidel is right up there with Hitler, Genghis Khan, and any despicable dictator you can think of. And yes if you think I am Cuban, you are right, you need info on Fidel’s legacy, just ask. But I digress.

The stooges also loaded up on almost $200 million worth of free agents,. I thought for a bit that they finally had the right idea. New stadium, great players, proven manager, great recipe for success right?   Wrong! Team chemistry was worse that three divas sharing the same dressing room, the manager was a public relations disaster and the worse thing that could happen; players had the worst starts to their careers, by midseason it was obvious this team was going nowhere.

First the stooges got rid of a few players that were not cutting it including their star shortstop who was now playing third base in another brilliant move by the front office. If you have a possible great player at one position you don’t go out and get another great player for the same position. You cannot play both at once, so you have to move one to another position. That is bad for that player and team chemistry. Bad recipe, bad,bad.

Then after this train wreck of a season was over the stooges jettisoned all the players they had brought in with million dollar contracts  which was characterized as a fire sale. In return they got back unproven major league players (2) and a handful of minor leaguers who have “potential”. They will be fielding a MINOR league team and they would not be worth $5 to see them let alone the usurious price for beer and hot dogs.

It’s an insult to the fans of the team and I along with thousands of others will not be attending any Marlins games. Even if they have free beer and blowjobs during the seventh inning stretch. I will not spend a nickel on this team in 2013 until their payroll reaches over $100 million and these stooges make the team appear to be run by professionals and that they have players on the field who are of professional caliber. If not I will take the same attitude  that the stooges take towards their soon to be non existent fan base: Fuck’em.

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