What the hell is wrong with Florida?

I have come to the conclusion that Florida is a portal to Hell. Instead of “Welcome to Florida ” at the border it should say “Abandon all hope ye who enter here.”

Just in recent memory, some from the hall of shame:

The face eating homeless man in Miami

George Zimmerman / Trayvon Martin

Casey Martin

Ted Bundy

Aileen Wuornos

Charles Whitman, yes the Texas Tower sniper but he was raised in Lake Worth FLORIDA

Bernie Madoff

Scott Rothstein

Allen Stanford

The inordinate amount of coordinated mortgage fraud from title agencies, bank officers, real estate brokers, straw buyers.

Flim-flam con men, fake investment companies, time share scams, people renting houses they do not own, planned fender benders to collect from insurance companies, clinics treating phantom patients and billing Medicare for millions.

Dozens if not hundreds of politicians kicked out of office from misdemeanors to major felonies. Do not get me started on the voting snafus, clusterfucks and Chicago-like voter fraud.

Exorbitant home insurance rates, impossible to afford windstorm insurance, sinkholes.

Trailer parks. Amusement parks that charge $80.00 per person, plus parking.So a family of four can get in a park for just a hair under $500 dollars and then its the nine dollar hot dog and the eleven dollar beer, so let the cash registers sing.

Just offshore: the Bermuda Triangle,hurricanes, refugees from Cuba and Haiti, drug smugglers, human smugglers, sharks, portuguese man o’ war, alligators, crocodiles, idiot tourists who can’t swim , the perils are endless.

Yet people flock to Florida like moths to a flame, to enjoy the beaches, the year round great weather,and the cultural diversity from the north Florida redneckish college town feel, to the international flavor of Miami, to the hip-hop feel of South Beach, to the laid back Jimmy Buffett feel of Key West.Come to Florida, you want weird, you got weird.


About Jorge G

business owner, writer of books Miami Beat & Miami Moon, column writer for The Lake Worth Herald
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6 Responses to What the hell is wrong with Florida?

  1. everythinghk says:

    As a native Floridian I have an explanation for all of this.
    Florida is the more debtor protected state in the US. The laws have been on the books for years attracting a lot of scammers.
    Florida has virtually year round warn weather and the cost of living is cheap here so it attracts all kind of drifter, homeless and generally lazy people.
    Miami a a paradise until 1980 where the last Cuban boat lift imported every single criminal and insane person from the prison in Cuba. Castro literally had a zero prison population after this. In 3 months crime was up 360% in Miami.
    If it were not for Florida (and sometimes California) CNN would be featuring Twinkie eat contests in North Dakota because there would be nothing to report on.

    God is not without a sense of humor. Ever wonder why Florida is shaped like a giant penis hanging off of the US?


    • Jorge G says:

      true words, I happened to live in Miami in the 80’s so I know of what you write,God does have a sense of humor, look at Florida’s governor

      • everythinghk says:

        Rick Scott is a tool for sure but he’s really trying to pull the state out of the toilet and would have is the ACLU would stop suing Florida.

        He wanted to have mandatory drug testing for all welfare recipients. You want a check? SHow up clean.
        Of course that was discriminatory and got shot down.

        For the most part the US is in a tough spot. It’s just in some areas that it’s tougher.

        Regards Henry

      • Jorge G says:

        good points all Henry, too many self interest groups looking out for every slight

  2. SeaLinc2 says:

    Don’t forget about Angela Corey and her overzealous prosecution of the Cristian Fernandez case.

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