Dear readers I am sure you have wondered when I was going to get around to The Hipster or as he is more commonly known as President Barack Obama.
Now is the time that the new year is upon us, the elections will be this year. If I have to explain which election it is go back to your cave and keep smoking spice or keep doing whippets or peyote or LSD for you oldtime hippies.
Also as of this writing Mitt “The Robot” Romney has just kicked NewNewt Gingrich’s ass in Florida from the redneck capitol of North Florida to the Parrot Heads of Key West.
NewNewt promises to campaign the rest of the 46 states and not give up but he is like a horn dog who keeps trying to hump your leg no matter how many times you kick him off.He just keeps coming back with that crazed dog look on his face, tongue hanging out.
But back to the Hipster I voted for him but I am supremely disappointed he did not carry out his mandate upon the first two years of his presidency. He tried to do the civil,humane, adult, responsible thing and tried to ” play with others”.
Unfortunately the Republican/Obstructionist party got together and give them credit, they decided across the board to have the same message: We will not play ball with you, we will not pass anything you want, we will be the No, No, No party.
Of course the Rep/Obs did not care how many hard-working Americans they would hurt with this attitude but that party only cares about the rich anyway, so fuck-em all was their attitude.
The Dems did not want to roil the waters and instead of kicking the pricks into oblivion in the first two years of the Obama administration when they had a majority in both Senate and House, they just sat back on their laurels and lost big time in mid-term elections.
This gave the Rep/Obs a virtual hard on and they entrenched themselves even further in their smoky boardrooms and high falootin penthouses and created the budget impasse late in 2011 just for the hell of it, just to bust Obama’s balls.
So by the time the mid-term elections passed and the Hipster was dealing from a position of weakness he bided his time to see who the Rep/Obs were going to roll out as their Presidential candidates.
He must have sat in the oval office laughing his ass off when he saw the roster of morons, miscreants, reprobates, mental midgets, buffoons, adulterers, holy rollers, wannabees, blowhards, and media whores that was rolled out by the Rep/Obs. Is this the best they can do? He must have asked himself that.
He figured he has a cake walk coming up regardless of who wins the nomination.
Here is what I envision the Hipster saying at the first debate and obliterating Mitt “Lyle Waggoner” Romney:
My administration saved the American automotive industry by bailing them out.
My adminstration prevented the collapse of Wall street and the subsequent demise of world financial markets by bailing out the banks.
My administration prevented a recession from becoming a depression.
My administration finally pulled our troops from Iraq.
My administration eliminated Osama Bin Laden.
My administration has started the pullout from Afghanistan.
My administration put in safeguards so the money changers on Wall street have a harder time when they try to take advantage of the system and loot the coffers at the expense of the working man and the poor.
My administration has tried to do more for the disenfranchised that the last two administrations combined.
My administration has had the most diversity of any administration in history.
So I do not want to be in Mitt ” Dudley Do-right” Romney’s position to answer to those points.
I will be vigilant and I will kick the Hipster in his ass if he screws up, fair is fair.