What a Country! Secret Service Sex

You would think that by all the hue and cry coming from all corners that the U.S. Secret Service raped, pillaged, plundered, sodomized and ripped the tags off their mattresses to break laws down there in Columbia.

Now boys will be boys as the testosterone flies but this is not Tailhook or sexual harrasment.One day before they were to be briefed and two days before President Hipster was to arrive in Columbia the SS boys and some military personnel decided to have some fun and blow off some steam by consorting with prostitutes which is a LEGAL profession in Columbia by the way for you Pollyannas out there.

Unless someone comes up with a plot out of an Austin Powers movie where the SS agents were going to have their brains transplanted with a mind control chip or they had perfect body doubles of them with killer robot brains to take the Presidents life, everyone just calm down and stop getting your panties in a wringer.

The boys did not break any laws, did not harm anyone and other than one of them who obviously was the stupid one and decided not to pay for his hooker so she started wailing like a whore in church singing Amazing Grace, and the cat was out of the proverbial bag.

The feces hit the fan and the media mongers started chumming the waters with “investigations”. Now we have SS director Mark Sullivan and Senator Susan Collins of Maine, the senior Republican on the Homeland Security committee looking into an investigation.

So some of the boys will take early retirement, some will transfer, some will be deployed elsewhere, the investigators will beat their chest that they cleaned up the service and boys will continue to be boys.

In case you think I am being lenient on the boys, I hope they were single because if they were married then they deserve to spend eternity in a shopping mall carrying the little woman’s purse while they make sure the mother in law has all her necessities met.






About Jorge G

business owner, writer of books Miami Beat & Miami Moon, column writer for The Lake Worth Herald
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4 Responses to What a Country! Secret Service Sex

  1. Kathy says:

    LMAO!!! You sure put a different light on things Mr. Jorge – I enjoyed the last paragraph, lolol……

  2. Big John says:

    You know — I’ve been wondering about this “scandal”. What did these guys do that’s so scandalous.
    Basically, the get sent to South America, decide they want some Latin American tail — and they procure it (which, as you pointed out, is LEGAL). So what’s the fuss?
    Was it on government time? Doesn’t sound like it. From what I’ve seent the escorts/prostitutes didn’t even know they worked for the Secret Services. So…what…exactly…did they do that’s front page news. Guess Mitt’s just too boring, so they needed to bring in some SEX for a good story.
    Oh yeah. I suspected most of them were married. I’ll say that I think it happens all the time especially in the military, and some kinds of government work (secret service, CIA, FBI, etc.). Maybe even law enforcement, but I thinki local is harder to get away with.
    Anyhow — it is what it is and it looks like they will be (1) fired for something that we just don’t ike to think about, (2) most likely lose their marriages, and (3) still have done nothing technically illegal.

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